Breaking up is hard to do

Who ever thought that losing a home due to loss of income would feel like breaking up a relationship? Grieving is really a hard matter in life. All the happy memories that made our home an entity. I am thankful that we are not quite homeless since mom and dad took us in, but feeling at home here is not the same as coming home to our own 4 walls of privacy with our own sets of rules and boundaries for the kids. Unfortunately here at the grandparents house we've lost some control over where the kids go when they are outside the home with the grandparents. Anyways, David and I are looking forward to moving out of here. We are taking up space. I want my own place for my girls. David needs to get happy. I deserve a happy marriage. It's time to move on, but we have at least one more year to wait until we could be financially restored since the loss of our home and income. Mom and dad aren't charging us much to live here but we really are using up lots of their water, space, and energy. Lord help us cope.

Brainy Ideas

My cousin from Australia has lots of knowledge about kids and their cognitive development. He suggested these for me and I'm so encouraged to try them since his first recommendation went well. His first recommendation was to ask Breanna what she learned in school by putting in front of her a pad of paper with writing tool, then asking her to draw what she learned ~ even though her drawings look like a bunch of scribbles and symbols. It works so much better than to just plainly ask her what she learned because she wouldn't talk much since she's distracted with all else going on around her. The drawing puts her into focus and it's fun (as well as on of her many talents).

Here's more suggestions....

To increase Breanna's verbal speech or introduce her to the world of literacy, the two of you should write a song or poem about the day and keep it in her picture album as a memoir so that when she is older she can look at it and laugh and the both of you laugh in the future. Do the same with all your kids and tell the both of your baby girls that they were very talented. It's bonding / literacy development.

Either that idea or from those drawings, get her to tell you and David what each symbol means...and then get her to explain or show other people the same so that it builds self confidence. =) It really does help with communication skills.

Sacrament

I'm feeling a bit weird about the confusion already spreading regarding the party I'm throwing for Chloe and Breanna. Some of my Catholic relatives are assuming that this is a party for Chloe's baptismal because they always assume a Christening and party is automatic for infants. This party might be an eye opener for much debate for my family since David and I aren't Catholics (or I'm not sure what to call myself since I was formerly baptized as an infant into the Catholic church). Since we're not having a Christening...nor even a Baby Dedication...I wonder what to tell the folks coming to the party when they question our faith since our faith as a couple stands as confused. I would delightfully walk up the aisle and present my baby Chloe and Breanna for a Baby Dedication at either EFCC or Maranatha Chapel, but David is not with me in it since he's confused about what he believes in.

Anyways, I did just a little research on the Sacrament of Baptism and found this site. I've still got more to learn about it. http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/p/Sac_Baptism.htm

Moby Wrap

After half a year of analyzing and studying baby carriers post-Breanna, I finally got the Moby Wrap. It's a long piece of comfy fabric for momma's who got skillz in wrapping their babies in papoose like style. It definitely takes some getting used to. Anyways, I've always loved carrying Breanna around with the Baby Bjorn that my brother and sister got for us when she was a baby, but it's not working for Chloe (maybe it's something she'll like when she get's older?). Thankfully Moby works well especially during this colicky night. This is the first night she hasn't screamed her head off and I'm hoping the Moby hugging her to rest during this Happy Hour (or so my friend Alba calls the colic period) is the cause for the serenity. If so, then I could get used to this because wearing her is so much easier than dancing her 9 pound weight in our arms for 2-3 hours a night. If it is the Moby that's causing her to instantly rest instead of crying, then this is the greatest invention I've bought for this girl. I'm hoping that one day she'll like the Baby Bjorn too since my brother paid a high price for it brand new. Ugh...I'm so attached to gifts.

Breanna is such a wonderful kid. I was feeling more overwhelmed than usual today and cried silently on Breanna's bed. I tried to hide my emotions from my family but somehow they knew how sad I was because they kept following me and asking why I was sullen. The house was a mess. Dinner was late. I couldn't get anything right on time...which is a farfetched goal for a new mom to this infant. Somehow Breanna knew that I was really sad I couldn't keep house as I lay on her bed and she said the sweetest thing: "Mommy, you go to sleep and Breanna will clean the whole house." She really did...well at least whatever she could get her mitts on. Such a sweet kid. I didn't even know I raised her this way.

Time Crunch

Raising two children definitely is tougher than raising one. I give lots of praise to the people who've raised more than 2 children because they are more than a handful. Maybe my body is still recovering but I can't get the house cleaned or dinner ready by the time David comes home from work. I'm either tired and need a nap or a break or my one month old needs to be taken care of. Either event takes lots of time. When will the time come when things will run smoothly in the house? Having a messy house stresses David and I ~ Breanna does nothing but make a big mess. I'm considering hiding her playthings so that there wouldn't be so much to pick up since she won't pick up as fast as I want her to...then again I want her to have the freedom to categorize her toys and learn from them since most of her toys are learning toys anyways. What to do?

One thing that would help is to have David work out in the gym in the early mornings instead of the evenings when I really need help. Breanna's lunch needs to be made; the house needs a pick up; Chloe gets tons more cranky by the late afternoon; I need a break; dinner; night time routines... Everything happens at night.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to the days I get breaks. Seems like David and I will have to schedule into our calendar me and us time from now on since we don't get it like we used to just months before getting pregnant with Chloe Joyce.

Mobile Meal

I'm hoping this works continually. For the second time this week I tried feeding Chloe from a cup. The first time might have been a failure because she was really hungry that she didn't know what to do with herself, but this time tonight she was really mellow and let me drip my milk from a cup into her mouth without complaint. If I could get her into the habit of drinking from a cup I could finally be a mobile mommy ~ no boobs attached!

This would be exciting because I was unsuccessful in finding a nipple that Breanna liked when she was an infant. I even tried this cup method but it did NOT work. I even tried feeding her milk from a spoon which didn't work either. I didn't know how moms did it, but I am so desperate now.

A First Day for Bre and Me

Today was my first day driving with little Chloe and I forgot how much more time I need to give myself to pack up the baby bag AND the baby AND to prepare for little hinderances such as a crying, fussy babe...but I managed.

It is Breanna's 4th birthday today and David and I scheduled to have a small pizza party at her school. David bought room 2 Hawaiian pizza from Rosario's and chocolate chip cookies from Costco. I thought there'd be some cookies left over but I guess it's a good thing there weren't. Breanna had lots of fun with daddy who allowed her to take silly pictures of her friends. I got to see a clearer picture of who my Breanna had become of her circle of friends in school: a great leader. I kinda saw it before but now with new eyes, she really is starting to show signs of growth toward womanhood. My baby girl is growing up so fast!

When it was time for pick up after school, I went through the whole packing up process with little Chloe again, forgetting how many more minutes it would take to get from point A to point B. This time my travels were much harder because Chloe was fussy and crying when I put her into her car seat. Walking into the school to get Breanna, so many parents wanted to see Chloe and chat about their kids...and all I wanted to do was to help my baby stop crying. I really wanted to chat because all these parents have the experience that I so wish to gain at the moment...but I had to move it move it. Finally, after 30 minutes I decided to hang out at mama Rose's house instead of taking the long trek back to Escondido. It think my detour was well worth it because now mama and papa get to spend time with their first granddaughter on her birthday, I get some refresher time, and daddy and I get to eat fish dinner. Yum.

Food Strike

Yay..I'm finally feeling a little better. I had a better night of sleep (more than 3 hours). I'm able to help around the house now and help daddy get Breanna ready for school. It's so tough for her and us at this age. She's such a little pest sometimes. Definitely she got a way to show her independence and power. This morning, daddy asked her to do something she didn't want to do and, of course, she didn't do it so daddy got upset and probably used his power card on her. Breanna's retaliation: throw away a thrice bitten apple in the trash and cry "I'm not going to eat anymore." What a food strike nightmare! Makes me sad that we all have this kind of relationship with each other now. What needs to be done to get better? Can't we just get along?

Time for Me!

Oh My Gosh ~ this feels good! Today was the first day of Breanna's change in school schedule (part-time to full-time) for the months of March and April on this 2009-2010 school year. Being so pregnant and heavy and a little behind in my "nesting" as well as other responsibilities, having her stay at school an extra 2.5 hours does a great deal to my burdened spirit. I've really got so much to do and it's sad to say that childcare really takes a toll on me. I feel like I'm on vacation for a bit to do "me" time without having to strategize around Breanna's tantrums and hyper energy. I just might be able to work until delivery with this gift of time.

Dethroned

Poor Breanna. I think she's already starting to feel dethroned from the only child status. I can't be there for her as often as I was prepregnancy and she's getting tired of getting on my bad side frequently for being too rough on my body - especially near my sensitive belly. She's a very active girl...almost so active that she behaves like a typical boy.


Today she passionately called her daddy "stupid" to his face. Daddy couldn't believe his ears and asked her again what she said. She said it differently the next time..."Daddy, you're a bad word." David did not take that well and I wouldn't either if it were spoken of to me. What has happened to my cute little girl who used to be so full of happy life? She's become a high-strung, angry ball of energy.

What are we to do besides time out? It makes us sad that she's like this. Now that we're having another little one, we're definitely not going to have all the time in the world to only Breanna. I hope she doesn't hate us so much that she'll run away like I did from my parents during the preteen stage. I think I could sense her bitterness growing already. I think I could see the angry little me in her also.

Help!

Give Yourself A Hand-Me-Down

Yay! I won't have to buy fashionable clothes for Chloe or Breanna for another 5 years. It's wonderful to have relatives with girls...especially girls who take care of their clothes. It seems like we got targetted by the hand-me-down squad...and the clothes are N~I~C~E and brand name! Thanks auntie Madison, auntie Klarisse, and auntie Gwenneth =) Nobody can ever tell these clothese were gently used. Kids grow out of clothes so quickly.

Role Playing

With all the pressures of life while I'm getting heavier and obviously pregnant, I'm sort of having a hard time balancing all my roles as I'm nearing the END. Pray for renewed energy and a sense of humor.

Nonsensical Lullabyes

Rrrrr...why does it have to take B an hour to fall asleep? I've always wondered why some nursery rhymes are so wicked. The famous lullabye for example:

Rock-a-bye-baby On the treetop
When the wind blows,
The cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
The cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

The best answer I got was:

"The author of this well-loved lullaby was reportedly a pilgrim who sailed on the Mayflower. The Wampanoag Indians, who befriended the colonists, carried their infants in cradleboards on their backs. In temperate weather, they suspended the cradles from tree limbs so that passing breezes could rock the babies while their mothers tended the maize and beans. With typical motherly indulgence, the cradles were decorated with shells, beads and porcupine quills. For sober-minded puritans, the sight of a birch tree festooned with such cradles must have been very memorable indeed. "

I'm trying to understand the wicked part where the bough (branch) breaks and the baby and cradle fall because if I took it literally, I could totally relate to the author and sometimes wouldn't mind if Breanna fell. Urgh! lol

Power Struggles with Grandma

I get really upset watching how my mom handles Breanna's fits, which makes their relationship full of power battles. I'm sad to say that my mom was/is not a good role model as a mom when it comes to people relations. She may be an awesome helper for all the different committees that she's involved but in a family level, she's clueless. Now that she's a grandma things are a little different than when she raised me, but she's still not so great a role model. I'm trying to teach her not to lie to Breanna and to always be true to her word so that B can trust grandma. So far my little girl knows how to push grandma's buttons and initiate an rampage of grandma's emotions. Who know's? My job is to protect my daughter(s) and my highest goal is to help grandma be a better mother and grandmother.

Routines R Remarkable!

Since Breanna was a toddler I've decided to put her through routines for nap, for eating, for night time, etc. They work astonishingly especially during the toddler years when mommy has to follow her own schedule - pushing routines on Breanna makes my life much easier to fit into mine.

Now that family life has gotten so much busier with another little one on the way and mommy feeling so abnormal with the new pregnant body, routines are so much the standard way of life now. I'm so proud of the team partnering I have going with Breanna's school. This partnership seems to work tremendously better than last years tryout for homeschooling. I think the inconsistency of Breanna having a different daily caretaker caused her to be so bouncy. The behavior she brings home now is phenomenal! She's so well behaved. I love it and love the curbing of her awesome personality. I give thanks to put her in a school with high values ~ yay! Mommy is so happy.

Independent Poop

Breanna can poop all by herself in the toilet without having to let me know! I found out from seeing skid marks on her clean diaper and unflushed gunk in my toilet.

Rub A Dub Scrub

I am so proud of Breanna. After days of training, she's now able to turn on the bathroom light, pull up her sleeves, turn on the two water valves to make it warm, dispense soap, rub-a-dub-scrub and wash her hands by herself. I'm going to miss the days of her dependence on me, but this do-it-herself change is not bad at all! I love Breanna!

Breanna's growth and development

Today was Breanna's annual review of speech and language growth at the age of 2 and half years old and I am so happy to share that my little girl has gone so far. God really blessed her with a strong curiosity to learn new words and concepts. Our assigned speech therapist said this about Breanna:

Breanna used 3-5 word sentences to comment, request, and answer questions. She uses plurals, -ing verbs, pronouns (it, my/mine, you, your, this/that, I). Breanna uses agents, actions, location, negatives, introducers and possessives. She uses size words and has emerging past tense verbs. She has approximately 400 words, tells about the actions in pictures, listens to stories and comments on pictures/books. Breanna matches similar objects and categories. Her phonology appears to be age appropriate, minimal errors which are age appropriate at this time.

Breanna's pre-academic development is as follows. She counts as 1-4, 6-11, 14-18. She knows the colors red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, white, pink. She knows the sounds of letters and can recognize most letters as well. She knows most shapes. She can sing songs, do finger play, follow directions, and helps clean up.

For a 30 month old I think this is impressive growth.

Potty Pattern Puzzle

Tonight is the second night that Breanna went to the gym's Kids Club and asked "auntie Jenny" - the onsite babysitter - to use the potty. Potty training at the Club seems to work well if I model for Breanna how to ask for potty permission when I'm not present: "Auntie Jenny, I want to use the toilet." Hooray!

I just don't understand why sometimes she pees & poos in her panties at home or at Andrea's.