Survival of the fittest

The cliche for this title doesn't go for just physical fitness. In my situation...having lost a house, frustrations with the serious growth issue with my second child, irritations with the primary and secondary lenders during this foreclosure process...the cliche also applies for marriages too. Lots of factors are at play in pulling my husband and I apart. We are just tolerating each other in this LONG, drawn out period of a mess. Stress happens in all marriages. Love takes lots of work especially when the two people involved are not loving to each other. I got a pretty angry man to deal with here atop the stress of life. If I were to rewind life I probably would have done all I could to be satisfied being a single mother. It's funny that I always envisioned my life as a mother, but unmarried and unjaded at the same time. More than 60% of all American marriages end in divorce...I'm trying not to be that statistic even though my angry husband mistreats me to the point where I want to be that statistic. I need support from fellowship to get me throuh this tough period.

Sacrament

I'm feeling a bit weird about the confusion already spreading regarding the party I'm throwing for Chloe and Breanna. Some of my Catholic relatives are assuming that this is a party for Chloe's baptismal because they always assume a Christening and party is automatic for infants. This party might be an eye opener for much debate for my family since David and I aren't Catholics (or I'm not sure what to call myself since I was formerly baptized as an infant into the Catholic church). Since we're not having a Christening...nor even a Baby Dedication...I wonder what to tell the folks coming to the party when they question our faith since our faith as a couple stands as confused. I would delightfully walk up the aisle and present my baby Chloe and Breanna for a Baby Dedication at either EFCC or Maranatha Chapel, but David is not with me in it since he's confused about what he believes in.

Anyways, I did just a little research on the Sacrament of Baptism and found this site. I've still got more to learn about it. http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/p/Sac_Baptism.htm

My Couch Potato Parents

I'm not sure what struck my mom to have such a high interest in Filipino Soap dramas this decade, but what's more intriguing is that my dad has gotten stuck on the same shows with my mom four years later. David thinks that maybe becoming a grandparent has switched their gears into becoming couch potato because it first hit my mom when I was pregnant with Breanna and now has hit my dad being pregnant with baby CJ.

It's really cute actually to watch this sort of positive turn for their marriage. In a way, having an extra interest in common (besides ballroom dancing) has brought their relationship closer together. Ballroom dancing encourages physical touch to take place on the dancing floor to some degree, but watching a series of recorded Filipino drama shows while snuggling together on the couch sends their sensual experience to a higher degree. I'm liking what I'm seeing.

I'm also liking that these shows have taken dad away from his long-time hobby (or bad habit) of tinkering on the computer. This gives me more freedom to do my own graphic work without patiently waiting for his absense. Time with the spouse is more important than time spent on the computer doing nothing important anyday and I'm glad dad's eyes are pryed away from the computer monitor to the TV monitor with mom by his side. It's a sweet form of "couch potato-dom".

Now, to get mom back on the treadmill with dad by her side...that'll be the start of an even healthier marriage.

Role Playing

With all the pressures of life while I'm getting heavier and obviously pregnant, I'm sort of having a hard time balancing all my roles as I'm nearing the END. Pray for renewed energy and a sense of humor.

Party Poops

I never realized how much of a party animal I was until I married my husband. Premarriage, parties for David happened about 6 times a year because he comes from a small yet intimate family who keeps in light touch with relatives whereas I keep in touch with all my relatives from first cousins to distant (and almost long-lost) relatives. With my mom being the first of 8 and dad being the first of 11, weddings, funerals, and let alone birthday parties are like gala events.

Two years into our marriage we've attended about 4 parties a month, which means we'd party almost every weekend of the year, but finally David put an end to what he might call a somewhat hedonistic lifestyle and suggested that we tone down these pleasurable experiences to twice a month so that we could share these weekends to hang out with friends - and to actually have a life! So far after a 3 month trial I think I like the way things are going now. We've been getting so many responsibilities taken care of and we are able to spend much needed quality time together as a family.

Love Language: Physical Affection

Marriage can be extremely hard when there is a lack of communication and sometimes the only constructive communication David and I can have comes in our shouting matches when our blood pressures has reached boiling point and there is no reasonable place to go but to duke it out verbally. I'd take any less stressful route to problem solve issues in our relationship but so far this seems to be the more common method. The topic of our problem tonight was a lack of physical affection. I almost live off of physical affection to feel loved - and hugs or any kind of skin contact are not in his relationship language. So after weeks of not being properly hugged I can get a really cranky and nag. Well after our fight tonight I relearned one thing from child development classes that I should have applied in my marriage. If I want to get some thing I want or need, nagging can only make the situation worse - whereas using humor and positive attention could bring out the better of my other half. So from now on if I need a hug from Mr. Leprosy all I got to do is interupt him with a loud vocal siren: "Beeeeeep. This is the emergency hugcasting system. This is only a hug." Sounds easy and like a little manipulative but hopefully I could get more hugs from Mr. Unhuggable.